Kristin Auestad Danielsen (Norway)
The dark cloud
Den mørke stya
Characters:
Camel
Flappety Crow
Darty Prawn
Moomin Prince
Little Seal
Snow Guinea-pig
Snow White
Sleeping Beauty
Marilyn Monroe
Pamela Anderson
Justin Bieber
A large beetle
The Queen mother
The Queen father
Mother Seal
A little girl
Cloud
The ordinary kids have animal-like names to say something about the characters’ physical appearance. Camel is tall, angular and slow. Little Seal is small and round and gentle. Darty Prawn is small and quick. Flappety Crow is noisy and flappy. The Moomin Prince can by all means appear somewhat similar to Moomintroll, slightly round. They wear ordinary clothes and are 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 years old. All are girls except the Moomin Prince. Snow Guinea-pig is a very handsome young man, tall and dark and very sure of himself. What is most important is that Snow Guinea-pig has a high degree of self-confidence and is very secure about himself.
Where Sleeping Beauty and Snow White are concerned, I imagine the classic costume with the appropriate dress, wig and shoes.
The same goes for Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson. Marilyn Monroe: Wig, white dress. Pamela Anderson: Red bathing costume, big boobs, wig.
Justin Bieber: Justin Bieber clothes.
The dark Cloud can well be a voice-over. It is important that it is frightening.
SCENE 1 TO THE ISLAND
(Camel, Little Seal, Flappety Crow, Darty Prawn, Moomin Prince, and a young man, Snow Guinea-pig, paddle out towards an island in several canoes)
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
In a little valley there was a lake and in that lake there was an island and on that island was a mountain. The great mountain. It was there they were going, all of them. They were 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 years old and they were going there to be looked after. Their parents had sent them out to this island, this island that was so safe and good. It was summer and their parents were looking forward to a little rest from these moody bombs, these lovely kids with swelling buds in one place or another. One of the kids was called Camel. She was tall and thin and loved playing handball.
CAMEL
It’s rubbish being a big sister and having little sisters. They’re very irritating. It’s not OK that they use up your 300 kroner shampoo that you’ve bought out of your own money. And then my parents say I’m overreacting because my body’s full of hormones at the moment. And then they laugh at me. Once I had a shot at goal and my shot caught Camilla, our keeper, right on one of her boobs, and she just crumpled up, ’cause as I say I’d just hit in the boob and they told me afterwards, well, I knew actually, that she’d just started getting boobs and I know of course that that hurts. But I was in such a piss-awful mood that day I couldn’t even be bothered saying sorry and got like cross with Camilla instead. That it was actually her fault that I hurt her. And then I got really pissed off and then I’m really nasty.
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
In one of the canoes sat Little Seal. Little Seal was small and round and gentle and loved swimming.
LITTLE SEAL
I know it’s a bit weird but – and I haven’t actually had a period yet – but what I think about periods is that they don’t really kind of fit in. They don’t fit in anywhere. It’s like you pour blackberry squash all over the table and you’re not supposed to dry it up, just make sure it doesn’t run over the edge.
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
And then there was Moomin Prince. The only boy. Or man. And Flappety Crow and Darty Prawn. And together they would play, going wherever the mood, season, weather and jealousy would take them. Now they had reached 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 years of age. But they were still going to play with their dolls, play hide-and-seek and with their French skipping elastic. They would dream that one day Justin Bieber was going to come and play a concert on the island just for them. He’d come down the valley, make his way to the lake and paddle over in a canoe and there by the mountain Justin Bieber would give an intimate concert (The kids all sing ”Baby” by Justin Bieber in the background) to a shrieking crowd of Moomin Princes, Camels, Flappety Crows, Darty Prawns and Little Seals. That’s what they’d dream about. Oh, yes indeed.
See how still the water is. See how beautiful the island is.
Careful now. Now we’re here. We’ve just got to get safely out of the canoes. And there’s Snow White and Sleeping Beauty waiting! They look lovely; beautiful women!
(They arrive at the island where Snow White and Sleeping Beauty stand waiting to give out cinnamon buns from large baskets.
SNOW WHITE
Welcome to us, nice children.
SLEEPING BEAUTY
Hi; here we are.
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
They sorted out the practical things about food and cleaning with a little help from their rambling rosey friends Marilyn Monroe,
(Enter Marilyn Monroe.)
MARILYN MONROE
Hello.
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
and Pamela Anderson.
(Enter Pamela Anderson.)
PAMELA ANDERSON
Hello.
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson were particularly good with hot water bottles, comfort, crying, jealousy, tampons and STs, body hair and heartbreak.
MARILYN MONROE AND PAMELA ANDERSON
And crochet patterns.
SNOW GUINEA-PIG
And crochet patterns.
…
(Written for DUS, the Norwegian version of the British program “Connect”)
Five children aged 12, 13, 14, 15 and16 are to have their summer holidays without their parents. Hosting the summer camp are Cinderella, Snow White, Pamela Anderson, Marilyn Monroe and the handsome handball coach. Here they are well looked after but a threatening dark cloud appears on the horizon. What does the cloud want; how can one get rid of it, and is it all just a story?
Rightholder:
www.brageteatret.no
www.dramatikkenshus.no
Performances:
Cast:
M: 6
F: 6