Artistic Discoveries in European Schoolyards

Petr Vodicka
and the collective of actors (Production at Alfa Theatre March 2011)

pirat07&QueenOfLove - A Comic Style Story

Text Extract

QueenOfLove – Té in the virtual world
The projection shows the creation of Queenof love on the internet. Her breasts are at least twice the size of Teresa’s. The online party begins.
Queen Whoo! Anybody wants to join the club? (the tubby Tinygirl appears) Who are you?
Tinygirl Tinygirl!
Queen Great! Tinygirl, hello! Anybody else? (the flat-chested Breastygirl appears) Who are you?
Breastygirl I am Breastygirl.
Queen Oh, yeaah, Breastygirl! Anybody else? (FunnyGuy appears) And who are you?
FunnyGuy FunnyGuy. Huh!
Queen Again? Ok.
They dance.
Queen Girls! I want to show you something. This is my BOYFRIEND!
A picture of Zeca, FunnyGuy in front of him.
Breastygirl Funny Guy?
Queen No. (kicks FunnyGuy away) It’s ZECA!
The girls are blown away. They express their admiration for QueenOfLove, bow down to her and wish her happiness. They leave, and QueenOfLove is alone with the picture of her chosen one. We hear her father’s voice.
Otec Teresa!
Queen leaves. The virtual world disappears, and the romantic spot in the countryside appears.

Karel thinks about Kveta
The doors into Karel’s room. A peculiar rhythmic squeaking can be heard.
His mother appears with huge ears. She is listening behind the door. The door changes into a big keyhole, behind which Karel can be seen. His mother tries to look inside. When she turns round, her eyes are huge.

Mother Again. He won’t stop. Kájínek!
We find ourselves in the kitchen. Karel enters.
Karel Mum! Why have you got such big ears?
Mother All the better to hear you with.
Karel And why have you got such big eyes?
Mother All the better to see you with. I know everything!
Karel Mum! Were you listening behind the door?
Mother What made you think that? Wait until it breaks. That’ll be the end.
Karel But I thought I’d only get hairy hands!
Mother Hairy hands? From bouncing on the bed? Do you know how expensive mattresses are today? Jump if it makes you happy… But take it out onto the lawn in front of school or the playground or into the yard, I don’t know… (she goes out).

Karel gets a message
Karel Kv?ta! (he runs out

Meeting in the virtual world
QueenOfLove appears. In the background is a door. A crowd can be heard, shouting “QueenofLove!” Queen goes to the door and opens it. We see a crowd of smilies.
Suddenly the shadow of a man appears. It is Pirat07.
Queen Who are you?
Pirat07 I am Pirat07. And you?
Queen I am QueenOfLove.
Pirat07 Would you join a trip with me?
Queen I don’t know. (she falls into his arms) Where?
Pirat07 Oh. To… Côte d’Azur!
The Côte d’Azur appears and Pirat07 dances with QueenofLove on it.
Karel’s mother’s voice is heard, calling him.
Pirat07 Oh, I have to go.
Té’s fathers voice is heard, calling her.
Queen Me, too!
Pirat07 See you soon, my love.
Queen Yes, ASAP. Good bye.
The Côte d’Azur disappears. Karel’s room appears.


A comics-style story about one fateful meeting that had to take place twice.

Karel, or Kájínek as his mother calls him, likes to draw maps. However, they are the sort of maps you won’t find in an atlas. They are charts that can only be used for navigating in one place, the virtual world of the internet. Karel lives alone with his mother. Since his mother isn’t at home very often, she doesn’t even notice that Karel is already thirteen. She treats him like a child, or else she isn’t there. And to cap it all, Karel’s girlfriend starts going out with his arch enemy….All of which makes it better to stay on the internet, in a virtual identity.

T. or Teresa, on the other hand, lives alone with her father. That is not good, since he is a dinosaur who has no idea what unhappiness T. suffers in the name of love. Her unrequited love for an ideal man named Zeca can only be cured by another, much stronger passion. One that she can experience with someone who is a real pirate. And so pirat07 and QueenOfLove meet somewhere in the virtual world, although he is Czech and she is Portuguese.

They spend a nice time in their virtual indentities. Conquering new worlds, dance in the air, even virtual wedding, so they could be man and wife. And they had Cote d`Azur, the place which they made new home. The colors are different in this fantasy world compared to the reality with which one has to live every day. In time their existence became virtual and their bodies walked in reality without life.

Luckily, one day a chance comes up to go to the real Cote d`Azur. It was in the holiday catalogue and Karel`s mother agreed to go. Also Teresa convinced her father, so the dream journey came true. And it was really a journey for change, although nobody may have noticed. But after thousands of kilometers there is something new between children and parents.

The meeting in France was… not successful. Without their virtual identities, there was no big love. It`s a pity, that you have to travel thousand of kilometers just to find out. But the parents apparently found themselves liking each other. And Karel`s dream of steering a catamaran became true. And Teresa learned a big portion of the French language with the beach boys. So, in the end, it wasn`t so unsuccessful. And Karel and Teresa have become good friends since then.

This story of love in a virtual world is inspired by comics, and tries to find a narrative form that brings this literary genre into the theatre. The result is not only comics-style poetics, but art design that rustles with paper drawings.


Copyright ALFA theatre


Commissioned and first performed by Divadlo Alfa (CZ) & Teatro O Bando (PT)
1 st Opening Theatre Alfa, March 14, 2011

M: 2
F: 2