Artistic Discoveries in European Schoolyards

Author’s note: In the original German version of the play, Finn and Jules are studying English, not Spanish, and they quiz each other in English vocabulary.

1

Finn Today she watched us at practice. Adrian says cause she fancies him. He slapped me on the shoulder and says DON’T TAKE IT SO HARD. I say I’M NOT. He’s standing next to me in the showers. He’s already got chest hair and a six-pack. Somebody told me he already did it with one of girls in the lower sixth. But I don’t think that’s true. On the way out I see him hanging around her and chatting her up.
[…]

7

Finn Can I go now
Father Did you clean up your room.
Finn Yes.
Father Threw everything under the bed.
Finn Where else.
Father Are you going to football.
Finn I’m meeting a friend.
Father Meeting a friend.
Finn Yeah. Meeting a friend.
Father A girl.
Finn None of your business.
Father Finn.
Finn What.
Father Have fun.
Gives him some money.
Finn Thanks.
Father Mmwah.
Finn Gerroff Dad.
Father See you later.

8

Mrs Seidel When he enters the room she turns scarlet. She thinks everybody can see it in her face. She draws hearts in her exercise books and writes I LOVE HIM FOREVER in her diary. Once they’re both on the same class trip. At night he and his friends sneak into her room. He’s there for the other girls but it’s still nice that he’s there. They sit on the floor and play Spin the Bottle. She hopes the bottle will point at her when he’s spinning it. But she only gets to kiss once, and it’s Constantine Muller, who’s even fatter than she is. The other kids laugh and say THE PERFECT COUPLE. He laughs too and she bites Constantine Muller’s tongue.

9

Finn Bad luck.
Jules La mala suerte.
Finn Difference.
Jules La diferencia.
Finn Action.
Jules I don’t have anything for that.
Finn La acción.
Jules La acción. Of course. And proposal.
Finn La propuesta la oferta el ofrecimiento. Depending.
Jules I blew the test.
Finn Me too.
Jules Ha ha.
Finn -
Jules My parents said if I don’t pass then I won’t be able to go back to school after GCSEs.
Finn Harsh.
Jules Propuesta. Ice cream.
Finn Ofrecimiento. I’ll pay.
Jules You don’t have to.
Finn But I will.
Mrs Seidel Six fifty.
Jules Do you think it’s funny.
Finn What.
Jules Us. Here.
Finn No.
Jules Me neither.
Finn I was going to ask you soon anyway.
Jules -
Finn I just didn’t know how.
Jules Right.
Finn I though you fancied Adrian.
Jules Adrian.
Finn Your ice cream’s melting.
Jules I don’t really want any ice cream.
Finn Adrian thinks you fancy him.
Jules But I don’t fancy Adrian.
Finn -
Jules I fancy you.
Finn -
Jules Say something.
Finn Me too.
Jules You fancy you.
Finn Shit.
Jules I got it.
Finn Yeah.
Jules -
Finn You want to kiss?
Jules We could.
Finn Let’s.
Jules Why not.
Finn OK.
Jules Well.
Finn What.
Jules Why didn’t you kiss me.
Finn I thought you’d start.
Jules Why me.
Finn I asked.
Jules And I said YES.
Finn Not exactly.
Jules Yes I did.
Finn You said WHY NOT. That doesn’t automatically mean YES.
Jules What does it mean then.
Finn WHY NOT sounds more like I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER TO DO than YES DEFINITELY PLEASE KISS ME.
Jules Oh.
Finn Right.
Jules It just came out like that.
Finn Well.
Jules It’s what I meant.
Finn Howm I supposed to know.
Jules Now you know.
Finn Right.
Jules So.
Finn So what.
Jules We kissing or what.
Finn Ok.
Jules & Finn -
Jules Again.
Jules & Finn -

10

Finn During practice Adrian plays for the other team. We humiliated them. Five to nil. At one point it was me and Adrian head to head. He in front ball at the left feints to right I shadow him he sets up a nutmeg me I get the ball with the right around his heel and I’m gone. No mercy. I tell him about it in the shower. He says YOU IN LOVE WITH HER OR WHAT. I say NAA JUST LIKE THINK SHE’S HOT. He takes my shampoo lathers up his hair and says RIGHT JUST MIND SHE DOESN’T MAKE YOU LOOK A RIGHT BERK. I say PFFFT. But I don’t dare tell him I want my shampoo back and I don’t think about why he said that.
[…]

14

Father Finn.
Finn What now.
Father What’re you doing.
Finn I’m going to my room.
Father Come over here.
Finn Why.
Father I want to talk to you.
Finn What about.
Father Well. About. You know.
Finn -
Father Don’t run away now.
Finn I already know.
Father I know. Just with Jules. Your first girlfriend. Do you talk about it.
Finn Dad.
Father Or isn’t that part of the picture yet.
Finn -
Father Just answer my question. It’d make it easier for both of us.
Finn No.
Father No what.
Finn We’ve only been together for three weeks.
Father But you think about it.
Finn Sometimes.
Father And do you have any questions at all. For me.
Finn What kind of questions.
Father Any at all.
Finn We’ve done all that at school.
Father Oh right.
Finn Can I go now.
Father If you’ve got any questions.
Finn Yeah yeah.
Father I’m here. Yeah.

15

Mrs Seidel At one point she gathers up all her courage and writes him a letter. She writes I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU YOU’RE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME I KNOW THAT BUT I STILL HAVE TO TELL YOU OTHERWISE I’LL GO MAD. The next day everybody knows. She locks herself in the loo and sobs. On the wall there’s something somebody wrote with a thick black marker LOVE IS A NAME SEX IS A GAME FORGET THE NAME AND PLAY THE GAME.

16

Jules Everybody always says ON THE BEACH. When the waves crash against the shore the moon shines the sand the wind. YMCA playing down at the resort. Christina Stallkamp says the best thing about it is that it’s over with. I don’t care where. Maybe in the forest. Or way up on the top of the Ferris wheel. Or in a sudden shower and you were walking or cycling around or whatever and then you take cover in a barn and then it’s like you weren’t even planning it. Or just the usual. But definitely not with somebody like Adrian. Sometimes at school I spend the whole class staring at the back of Finn’s head. Maybe I just want everything to stay the way it is.

[…]
(Translated by Christine Madden)
From version 01.04.2011, Rehearsal Draft